A man from a city went to visit
his friend in the country side. The moment he stepped out of his car he began to sniff the
air. Yuck! What a strong smell! What is it?
Must be the fresh air. Said his cousin.
That sure is some strong smell, replies the city bred guy.
A man patented a remedy for
getting rid of mosquitoes and charged Rs.50 per bottle. The bottle had a black liquid in
it and he made a lot of money selling it. One man asked him how the remedy worked,
Just catch the mosquito, tickle it, when it begins to laugh pour the liquid down its
Why did the moron put his head
into the waste paper basket?
Because he wanted to throw it away as garbage.
What's a monkey's favourite drink?
A: Orange Tang.
What's a monkey's favourite fruit?
Where do you put a noisy dog?
A: In a barking lot.
What do you call a bear with no
A sloth went out for a
walk when he was robbed by four snails. After recovering his wits, he went to the police
station. "Can you describe the snails?" asked the officer. "Not well, it
all happened so fast," replied the sloth.
Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Because turtles have such tiny ears.
mermaids have on toast?
elephants never forget?
Because nobody ever tells them anything
porcupines play leapfrog?
you play jokes on snakes?
Because you can never pull their legs
ducks watch on TV?
What do you
call a pig with three eyes?
bats live alone?
They like to hang around with their friends
What did the
duck say when he'd finished shopping?
Put it on my bill please
giraffes so slow to apologise?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride
How does a
flea get from place to place?
The spinal column is a
long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
We do not
raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon, a larger worm
that gives more silk.
A frog wanted to find
out whether he would meet a princess and turn into a prince charming. So he telephoned the
Psychic Hotline and was told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will
want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "This is great! Will I
meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the psychic.
"Next semester in her biology class."
cockroaches were having a discussion while munching on garbage in a dustbin when one began
discussing about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across
the street," said one. "It's so clean!
The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are
gleaming white. There is no dirt
Anywhere, it's so hygienic and the whole
"Please," said the other
cockroach frowning. "Not while I'm eating! The thought of it makes me sick."
Two vampire bats woke
up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood.
"Let's fly out of the
cave and get some blood" said one.
"We're new here,"
said the second one. "It's dark out there, and we don't know where to look. We'd
better go with the others."
The first bat replied,
"Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." So saying he flew out of the
cave. When he returned, he is covered with blood.
The second bat said
excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat took his
buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the
night, he said, "See
that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other
"Well," says the
first bat, "I didn't."
returning from work on foggy evening in Delhi, Ram saw that the buses were crawling
slowing down the road. He decided to walk along behind the bus, just following it, till he
got home. Very content he told his wife, I saved Rs.3 today as I followed the bus
and did not board it.
you could have saved Rs. 30 if you
had followed a taxi, she retorted.
Hari was very happy
watching the animals at the zoo and begged his parents to buy him one. How will we
feed him, said his father. "Lets buy on with a no feeding sign on it",
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